Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Finding Motivation and Making Time

This is a perfect example.
I am a little frustrated with myself because I really want to finish up my novel, Conclave, but I find it hard to make the time or get back to it once I've left it for a while. So... I decided to vent out my frustrations in this blog post. But... after I typed in the title, I just stared at the blank screen like an idiot for fifteen minutes.
 
It is the weirdest thing. I can't come to grips with it.
 
I guess it's just writer's block. But it really isn't because I'm not really blocked... I know exactly what it is that I want to get down onto paper.
 
Maybe it's more like stage fright. I know what I have to do. I am prepared to do it. But when it comes right down to it... maybe I am afraid of stepping out onto the stage. Once I am out there (because I step, or am pushed) I have no problems. I get on a role and in a zone. Take last Monday night for example. I showed up at Joffrey's for our regular Monday Creative Night, and no one else was there. This was actually a blessing! I opened my laptop and wrote Conclave for three hours straight! It was awesome. The staff didn't even bother me to tell me that they had actually closed the place a half hour ago!
 
Well, maybe when I figure out what the secret is to overcoming "stage fright", I'll bottle it and become a millionaire.
Yeah.
Right.
 
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2 comments:

Achito said...

I hear ya! More than you may realize. While I AM a procrastinator, it is only recently that I've come to grips with my biggest and TRUER obstacle: Fear. I don't know why since I don't FEEL afraid. Oh well! Let's cowar in each other's arms and watch Brokeback.

Love,
Achi

P.S. Don't worry. I've got your back *wink* *wink*

Bego said...

such a difficult endeavor. if anything, exposing myself in the blogs has shoiwn me that i am not a gigantic failure, if tho it's mostly people i know who tend to be kind. but no one has posted ugliness, so at least i may be ignored, but not abused. I posted a review of abook that helped me tremendously come to (some) terms with my fears. i recommend it.

meanwhile, keep doodling. it's what we do, after all.